SIR — Already very mixed views are being expressed about the latest gaudy street furniture on the Esplanade.

Although having connections with Minehead since 1931, including residence, I have not heard of any consultation procedure before these unusual erections were put in place.

Having read my Free Press on a dull Saturday here in Harpenden, I wondered what the most likely regular users, the gulls, would make of them. It could be something on the following lines:

"The USMB (United Seagulls of Minehead Bay) wish to express to the powers-that-be their appreciation for the new furniture recently placed on the Esplanade for their convenience.

"The surfaces will lead to easier landings than on the sea wall and the lovely colour (like nothing else on or near the seafront) will be an aid to our navigation. It will also make us feel warmer in the winter.

"The design of these 'puddings' could not be better, especially when the visitors are here and choose to have their alfresco meals sitting just under our patrol areas. We look forward to easy dippings next season.

"During the winter, we shall be taking lessons from our chums — the fat herring gulls of Ilfracombe — because they have become specialists in dipping their beaks into the funny three-cornered bags from which people take their fish and chips while sitting on the harbour wall. On most dips a couple of chips are whipped out but, sometimes, it is a juicy piece of cod — all for just walking along the wall, not even flying.

"The placing of the 'puddings' near the Jubilee cafe and opposite the fish and chip stall could not be better for us.

"To show our appreciation for these improvements, we undertake to provide the icing on each 'pudding' as quickly as nature will allow. This will have to be a continuous process because, on wet days, it will all be washed down on to the seats."

Will Widden,

Poets Court,

Harpenden.